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181/11 Avenue du Domaine
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Four kinds of manipulation

Benevolent manipulation, aiming at improving the manipulated person's  situation

Selfish manipulation , aiming at improving the manipulator's situation, whatever happens to the manipulated person

Malicious manipulation, aiming at destroying the manipulated person

Self-manipulation made up of thinking traps, biases and other armful things for us in the way we act, see the world, decide and behave.


Do we first sell what is more expensive or what is cheaper?

If we succeed in selling first "what is more expensive", than "what is cheaper" appears to be even cheaper than if we had begun with "what is cheaper", according to the contrast principle.


Maximize the impact of good news

When we announce good news sparingly, it gives the perception it is better than if they are announced all together.


Minimize the impact of bad news

When we group bad news, it gives the perception it is less dramatic than if they are announced sparingly.


Do we have to show our happiness when we close a negotiation?

We need to contain our happiness to avoid sending the signal we made a good (too good?) deal what would have one or more of the following  consequences:

a) Arouse suspicion and postpone the signature

b) Open again discussions with the risk to make a less good deal

c) Awaken the feeling of revanche

Let's remain reasonably happy!


Selling features

When we argue based on the features of a product, a solution or a service, even if it is tempting, it is generally counter-productive.

This approach has two unfortunate drawbacks: 

1) It increases the awareness of price

2) It increases the likelihood to get objections about needs


The myth of the fixed pie

Refers to the belief in negotiation that what one party is winning is necessarily lost by the other one and vice versa. 

This causes an excessive competitiveness and errors of judgment leading to missed opportunities to make a "good deal”.


The three components of Time Management

1) Tasks to carry out

2) Time constrains

3) Objectives to achieve


The magnetic “er”

Happens when a person does not exactly know what to say next and considers that leaving a blank is ridiculous and not professional.

Replace your "er" by a pause of 1 to 3 seconds.



The word "but" in a sentence inverts the meaning of what comes before. If you want to empathize, to establish a cooperative tone, avoid the word "but" or any synonym: nevertheless, yet, however…

Replace it by "a pause" up to a few seconds, by "and" or by a neutral expression like "the point is that"


What kind of question is it?

Generally begins with a verb

Efficient in the middle or at the end of a conversation

Is suitable for talkative people

Yes, it is a "closed" question with  "yes", "no" or "I don't know" as possible answers


What do these situations have in common?

Define goals

Describe tasks

Give instructions

Give positive or corrective feedback


Get a criticism

Handle objections

The point in common is to be specific or to ask to be specific


Robbers of time

Every element, internal or external steeling your time:

Phone calls


Unexpected visitors

Interruptions by colleagues


Classification of documents


Be prepared to handle these elements so you don't be theirs slaves!



It is the capacity and the will to move to the other's situation and try to understand it through the other's references. It does absolutely not imply to agree with it.

I can imagine, I realise that, you draw my attention on an important topic for you...

Empathy help people better cooperate and reduces the level of tension in "difficult" discussions and situations.


How to handle people talking during your presentation? Options:

Asking everybody's attention

Remaining silent until they see it

Remaining silent and heading for them

Remaining silent, heading for them and putting an hand on their table

Asking them specifically to remain silent

Assigning them a role: note down, keep time, see to a sub-group...

Asking them to leave the room (if possible)


Who does the opening offer in negotiation?

Although opinions are not all aligned about the first offer, there are some best practices:

1) No first offer if you lack information

2) No first offer if you lack leverage

3) No first offer if you lack expertise

Anyway, no "second" opening offer before getting a counteroffer. It would mean you offer against yourself!


The danger to give a free concession in negotiation

A free concession decreases the perception of value, encourages people to ask fore more, as if there was still room for extra concessions, leading to an imbalanced situation between parties, frustration and giving rise to the feeling of revenge.

For each concession, ask for a compensation. Don't give, exchange!


Difference between attitude and behaviour


Is what people say and do that others can observe

It is the verbal + the non verbal

It is based on what people think and believe


Is the mental preparation, the mindset of a person

It is based on beliefs, knowledge, culture, perceptions, emotions...

It generates behaviors

When we use the carrot and stick approach to get what we want:

We obtain results through forcing and manipulating people

We don't influence them and we certainly don't persuade them

The more we repeat the approach, we more the results decrease

Even if we separate reward from stick, the results decrease

Last but not least, we prompt a feeling of revenge


So we'd better use real persuasion strategies!


What do we have to avoid when saying “no” constructively?

To justify our decision

To explain our decision using to many details

To commit to find another option

To move to "yes" in case of insistence


How to help people remember your presentations?

a) Limit the number of key messages (3 to 5)

b) Make them simple to understand 

c) Repeat them three times during the presentation


How easy is it to remember names?

No secret formula! Only work, good will and discipline.

1) Find opportunities to repeat the name several times

2) Ask to spell the name

3) Discuss the origin of the name

All that to stimulate your memory.


Difference between an advantage and a benefit

An advantage is a general reason why sellers think buyers could buy

A benefit is a situational advantage. It is necessarily related to one specific 

person with specific needs and motivations


A crucial moment of power in a discussion

A crucial "moment of power" in a discussion is the moment when a person

says "thank you" to you after you have given this person a favor, a present,

an advantage... for free. The best answer is NOT "it is nothing", "my pleasure"

or any similar formula. The best answer IS "I am sure you would have done 

the same for me", because it activated the principle of “reciprocity".


Why do people object about price?

1) To hide other objections or to conceal the intention not to buy

2) Because they compare our proposal with cheaper proposals

3) Because they have a smaller budget

4) Because for them the value of our proposal is not worth the asked price

5) Because it is their role (purchase)


Two questions to better understand whether a task is urgent or not:


1) What is the deadline of the task?

2) How much time is needed to carry out the task?