Whatever the field of activity concerned and whatever the reason why certain people are led to pronounce this sentence or any set of words whose meaning is close to the title of the article, we regularly hear this kind of statements among our colleagues, our bosses, our customers, our suppliers, our friends, our family. High self-esteem, excessive self-confidence, lack of realism, overestimation of one’s abilities, well-developed ego or reality, are among the causes that bring us face to face with this little sentence: I am a natural!

If this makes us smile, because it may give the impression of a rather pretentious approach, it is undoubtedly true that some people have more affinity with techniques in specific areas, that they generate little (or less) effort (than others) and achieve great performances or even prowesses.

Indeed, it would be misleading to maintain that gifted people do not exist, that natural talent is only the fruit of hard work. This phenomenon is particularly developed, as much its « pretentious » side as its « affinity » side, in interpersonal relationships.

Whether it is in the commercial process, with people who claim to be born salespeople, whether it is in managing others, with people who pride themselves on naturally leading their fellow men, whether it is in speaking publicly, where individuals claim that it is second nature to them, whether it is in negotiation, where some of our fellow men claim that they can negotiate anything with anyone, we are faced with a daily reality and to separate the two is quite delicate.

We have all met people who say (or people say about them) they could sell an air conditioning system to an Eskimo. If this makes us smile, such is the image, it is also true that it makes little sense in the end. Some sales require in-depth technical knowledge to remain credible to the interlocutor, and it is hard for me to believe that a person can immerse himself in all the « technicalities » or could work while ignoring them. Some sales require meeting different interlocutors who all play a role in the decision-making process and this strategic approach is not straightforward, requires time, which is not within everyone’s reach.

But what percentage of the population can really pretend to be a natural in a specific field? In my opinion, a very small percentage. The large majority will have to learn and be well prepared.

There is, however, from my point of view, an exception to this « rule »: our children, not all of them of course, because the context in which they are educated plays a fundamental role.

Their lack or absence of inhibition allows the use of a whole range of talents, such as convincing, manipulating, directing, controlling, deciding and much more. Then, as the first signs of puberty appear, these abilities fade and eventually disappear. This can be explained in part by the effect of limits, obligations, procedures, prohibitions. Which leads to relearning these skills in adulthood.

Let’s return to the case of negotiation. Even though we would be dealing with a born negotiator, could he/she be parachuted into any situation and negotiate? I do not think so. On the contrary, I think we should be guided by the following statement: « If you fail to prepare, prepare to fail ». It is attributed to Benjamin Franklin, and many coaches have appropriated this phrase, full of philosophical meaning.

So how can we prepare ourselves for negotiation, whether or not we have any specific abilities, whether or not we have any affinity with the subject matter? Let’s start with an acronym that illustrates a solid structure for any type of negotiation: PCCC. Preparing, consulting, confronting, concretizing. Whether in the commercial field, where negotiation is a distinct phase of a sales cycle, or in other areas, the four-steps process allows us to understand where we stand at any point of time and what we can do to move the situation forward.

The following diagram gives us some elements of preparation:

Let’s start at the beginning. What do we want to achieve? What do we actually want to get out of the negotiation? What about the others? What mandate have we received? In other words, what are the limits of our operating perimeter vis-à-vis the interlocutors? And what is theirs? What happens outside these limits? What do we do if we fail? How do we define our BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement) and how do we act on it? These are essential questions that we need to think about well in advance of any first meeting.

Then comes the state of our knowledge and understanding of the situation. What information do we have at our disposal? What information do we have that we need to check? Which ones are certain? What do we need to know to get an overview of the negotiation? This is where two very important lists come in: questions to ask and issues to address.

Let’s start with the list of questions. We will distinguish between questions to be asked to validate information already in our possession and questions to be asked to broaden our field of vision. It will be important to use the right sequence, first identify what we want to verify or discover and then deduce the best way to ask the question. In any case, we will make sure that we balance the incoming and outgoing flows. Any deficit will be disadvantageous, even dangerous.

Let’s continue with the list of issues to be dealt with. It is important to bear in mind that multiplying the topics opens doors and creates bridges that will be very useful when we will have to make concessions. The single topic negotiation is the subject of a myth, that of the « fixed pie ». This belief, strongly held in some minds, that they are is a single topic discussion, closes the door to a cooperative approach, since it is the only thing that negotiations focus on. Each party wishing to take away as much value as possible will do so to the detriment of the others, in a « zero-sum game »: whatever I take, you lose and vice versa. Last important point: let’s make sure to rank the issues in order of importance or cost. That way, it will be easier to identify several elements, namely:

• What will be the most appropriate sequence in which topics will be discussed?
• Which concessions will be the least costly when the time comes?
• How will the use of the BATNA be determined?

Let’s talk about the different negotiation’s actors. First, we will take care of setting up a team with sufficient complementarities and to define how each individual will intervene, what his or her mandate and limits will be, when each will speak and how communication will be established between team members.

For the interlocutors, we will identify (if possible) their technical and negotiation skills. Their habits can enrich our preparation, their reputation can help us prepare mentally. This is where the assessment of the balance of power and the distribution of power will also take place. If some people consider powers as means of pressure, I prefer to consider powers as being leverage. Leverage meaning opportunities to move the process towards its outcome.

All of the above will serve one goal: to inject the various elements into a summary table that will enable us to function more serenely during the CCC phases (consult, confront, concretise).

For each issue, this table will indicate the aspiration point (objective), the reservation point (the last acceptable value), the opening value, the practical room for manoeuvre, the possible concessions and the desired compensations. This practical tool we can visualise as a large mixing table, will give a lot of power to the preparation and increase the self-confidence of the negotiators.