Among the good practices in negotiation, we will remember, next to many other things, the ability to step back at some point. This distance is as beneficial to reflection as it is to managing emotions.

In negotiation, the most essential fuel is information. This also applies to many other interpersonal situations: recruitment interviews, conflict management, evaluation interviews, performance interviews, sales processes…

However, if in some situations we share relatively few elements, in others, on the contrary, more complex and complicated, the flow is uninterrupted and continues to grow. This requires organised and structured management to identify, prioritise, group, sort, memorise and use what potentially becomes for us powerful levers.

The human brain is lazy by nature. If he can consume less time and energy, he will choose this option. Part of the explanation is to be attributed to the survival and self-preservation instincts. Surrounded by predators, much stronger and faster than we, human beings, it is no wonder that mechanisms took place, in order to deal with hostile environments, where the slightest mistake could be fatal.

And so our brain played a central role!

This is one of the reasons why the automatic, unconscious thinking mode is favoured in all kinds of situations (system 1) at the expense of analytical, reflective thinking (system 2), which is slower and energy-hungry.

Explanations of the usefulness of the automatic mode include:

• An aid to memorization (essential elements for our survival)
• The intention to create meaning (even when it is not useful)
• Simplification of information (even if sorting is not always relevant)
• The speed with which environmental information is processed

We know that system 1, however useful it may be in many situations, is also the source of errors of judgment, flawed reasoning, flawed decisions, deficient analysis…

If we combine the above parameters, we deduce that in negotiation, the considerable amount of information that reaches us requires us to be more vigilant, so that it is not our automatic way of thinking that processes it.

Switching on system 2 requires an awareness of the time available to act or react and the need to take it or even extend it.

This is where the practice of a break comes in.

Good reasons to take breaks, i.e. to interrupt discussions with interlocutors, include:

• Managing stress and emotions
• Analysing new information and its implications, particularly on our preparation
• Consulting colleagues and/or experts to gather suggestions and ideas
• Escape a situation of manipulation (competitive tactics)
• Considering, keeping a cool head, the options to break a deadlock

Some of the less good reasons for taking breaks include putting others under pressure by « playing » with time. This tactic, which exists in at least three versions, all dangerous, because the objective is to make us make more concessions, faster and of greater amplitude, uses time either:

By contracting it and requesting or even imposing on the other party an accelerated processing of the negotiation

For example, a person whose name I will not mention, reported to me that he was the passive victim of the contraction of time. This was happening in China where he had to negotiate a commercial contract with a company. After being taken in charge by a private driver at the exit of the airport who asked him what day, at what time he was returning to Europe, after having been driven from one touristic place to another one and from a good restaurant to the next one, during the first 3 days of his stay, he found himself on the last day without a driver waiting for him at his hotel, unlike every previous morning. Forced to take a taxi, he went to the company’s headquarters where he entered a meeting room where 10 people who were waiting for him to negotiate. His return was scheduled for the afternoon and he didn’t want to go home empty-handed. The rest is easy to guess. We deduce an essential rule that we will be happy to share with you.

By stretching and lengthening it, to the point of endangering the interlocutor by establishing a status quo (who is most affected by a situation that does not change?)

For example, an Italian salesman told me a few years ago that he had been summoned by a supplier, represented by his main buyer, to the company’s headquarters to discuss the practical details of a case. He found himself in a « waiting room », surrounded by several other people, whom he fairly quickly identified as competitors. A passing order was drawn and the misfortune was that he would pass in the late afternoon. He had no other choice but to stay and wait (distance between his office and the customer premises). He did not receive any drink or food, and passed through the door of the buyer’s office in the late afternoon, exhausted from heat, dying of hunger and thirst, unable to engage in discussion, thinking clearly. Unfortunately, the rest can be deduced quite easily.

By cutting it by sudden, irregular and numerous interruptions, in order to destabilize the interlocutor, to confuse him, to prevent him from reasoning in a healthy way and to make him commit errors

During an assessment requested by a potential employer to test my leadership skills and abilities, I was confronted with a 100-pages file analysis exercise, for which I had to answer various questions concerning the understanding of the situation on one hand and the strategy to adopt on the other hand. After using the time received for the preparation, two people joined me, including a psychologist. During the breakout discussion we had, I experienced several interruptions that greatly impacted my concentration, gave me the impression that I was thinking less well and generated stress and unpleasant emotions.

So, to take or not to take breaks? It is a matter of intentions.

I still have to refer to a splendid video that perfectly illustrates certain aspects of negotiation. It is a French movie with Jean Rochefort, appointed negotiator of the King, Rufus, a Marshal of the King’s armies and Marie-Christine Barrault who plays the role of the Queen Mother. As you will have probably recognized, it is Saint-germain, la négociation, released in 2003 on screens.

At some point in the story, the King turned to the negotiator and told him that it was time to start negotiating with the Protestants, because the kingdom was bleeding. And the Queen Mother added « negotiating without hurrying ». It’s a matter of time, just like the art of taking a break.