He easily reaches 1m80 and must weigh close to a 100 kilos. A real muscle man! His deep voice is combined with a slightly penetrating look. He expresses himself well and writes very good documents. When we were at the university, at the same period, we found ourselves on November 21, St. Verhaegen’s Day, walking behind the same carriage. At that time he had a reputation that suited his physique. He didn’t hesitate to « play the tough guy » and I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that he took a malicious pleasure in teasing certain people, to piss them off. Not many people pit themselves against him and the ones that did it bitterly regretted it. At a certain point a guy in a toga came up to us with a floured face and took a packet of flour out of his pocket. His eyes showed a high alcohol content and, soaked as he was, this gesture left no room for doubt. He had chosen us as his target. When his arm was stopped dead in its course from the flour packet to our faces, I saw the drunken student’s face change colour. He opened his mouth and uttered very strange sounds, while the grinding machine, I mean my friend’s hand, had closed like a vice-like grip around his forearm. The rest is unimportant, because my message is elsewhere. This colossus, which everyone feared and avoided at the time, contacted me because he anticipated that his annual discussion with a supermarket buyer would turn into a disaster. He was afraid. He was afraid, him, the terror of the university. When our discussion turned to the reasons for his panic, he said to me in these words:
- I feel under pressure, constantly…
- Communication with them is confusing me and throws me off balance
- I get the feeling that our deals with them are worthless…
In a few seconds, he had just described in his own words the three categories of so-called « competitive » tactics that are frequently applied in negotiation situations where one of the protagonists tries to obtain significant advantages, often to the detriment of the others.
What are these three categories?
- Exerting pressure
- Manipulating communication
- Manipulating agreements
This article is about the first category: exerting pressure. Any resemblance to existing or past persons and events would be pure and fortuitous coincidence, although…
In 2000, when I was lucky to have been the supplier of a large Belgian company for several years, thanks to contacts with high-level scientists at high positions in the hierarchy, I received an « invitation » to discuss the latest current offer with a buyer. This was the first time this had happened in this company with me, and although the procedure was common elsewhere, it surprised me. The head of the department from which the request originated explained to me that internal changes in personnel were behind this procedure and that some suppliers had been abusing the absence of the purchasing department in technical tenders for years. The company wanted to put an end to procedures that were considered unethical (at the supplier’s side). He assured me of his personal commitment to ensuring that the equipment I represented was chosen, especially since it had been the subject of a competition between three companies and I had won.
There was an indescribable atmosphere in the buyer’s office when I entered the room. He kindly greeted me and then pointed out a coat rack where I could hang up my jacket. After a few tens of seconds of « small-talk », during which he offered me a coffee, which I gladly accepted, he said the following:
I’ve read your latest offer and I’d better tell you right away so that it’s clear, if you don’t give me at least 40% off, we can stop here. »
The whole was accompanied by a congruent non-verbal, that is, a Pitbull face, his torso slightly forward of his chair and a closed fist.
Caught off gard by such an introduction, I found myself standing up and as I walked towards the coat rack where I had hung my jacket, I said to him:
- I have yet to acknowledge our failure
I unhooked my jacket, put it on, then I went back to him and reached out my hand to say goodbye. He said:
- What are you doing?
- I’m leaving, I replied.
- I just don’t understand…
He, in turn, he was taken aback by the turn the conversation took. I said:
- You said there was no point in arguing if I didn’t give you at least 40% off. I won’t give you a 40% discount, so I’ll leave you, thanking you for your welcome and the coffee.
He asked me to stay. After an hour of conversation, during which he was unable to produce a document showing that we had committed to this level of discount, we reached a 25% agreement.
At about the same period of time, the company I worked for, with its European headquarters in the United Kingdom, took the decision to lay off a large part of the teams in the small subsidiaries, of which Belgium was of course a part. We were depending on the Dutch organisation, as in many cases with American high-tech companies. So we learned that it was our neighbours, during their next visit scheduled for the following week, who would be implementing this RIF (Reduction in force). We were all going to meet the Benelux management, one by one, and find out at that time whether the news was good or bad for us. That day, 14 out of 21 people were fired.
Apart from our disappointment and sadness from those who received the bad news about their future, I had to discover an accelerating element in every conversation that would destroy any desire to negotiate. When I opened the door of the only meeting room in the building, I discovered this:
They were four of them sitting at one end of the table, and unlike this picture, there was no chair on the other side. So we found ourselves standing, facing this quartet whose faces indicated it did not bode well for us. When in negotiation, we don’t receive a seat, or the seat we receive is uncomfortable and the configuration is similar to the one on the picture, there is little doubt about the intention of the interlocutors.
In summary, the competitive tactics that fall into the category of « exerting pressure » can be split into sub-categories, although generally speaking, there are few limits to creativity in this area:
- Threats
- Disqualification
- Physical discomfort
- Psychological discomfort
- The sprint
- The marathon
- Interruptions
- …
All these tactics are based on selfish manipulations and the 6+1 universal principles of influence already discussed in other articles.
All these tactics have the same goal: pushing us to make more concessions, bigger ones and faster. What can we do when we are confronted with such situations? Here are some ideas:
- Ask the interlocutor to explain himself/herself and to specify
- Establish rules for discussion at the beginning of the negotiation and refocus people
- Take a break to give yourself time to think and manage your emotions.
- Denounce the tactics and call for a return to more cooperation
- Ignore (pretend) and move on to another topic
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